Color and Dash Oil paintings

1. I have become too tired to paint. I could blame MS on this but I don't think that is what it is. 

I have been trying to get off of caffeine and it is killing me. I also need to decide if I should stop cacao nibs. They are full of healthy stuff, but I believe the caffeine in them is holding my addiction when I am finally off of it. As a kid, I avoided caffeine including cacao.

Next, paint with your heart,  I learned. The problem is, I am not a painter. I never was. I am an innovator who uses painting to prove ideas. I am wasting my time.

2. I know what I am going to do. I have been kicked out of my house of worship for the stupidest reason , and there is no place else to go where I live for prayer in my religion. So unless I move, I have been kicked out of my religion by default. And even if they were to let me back in, with the despicable way I was treated, I don't want to return.

So, I will put my faith in my art in the form of Anthropologie. This painting was a turning point for me. Before, I felt alone and disconnected.

But I have the entire world to connect to. I love nature and my friends. I don't need a religious institution to tell me who I am. I won't let myself be put in that situation again, where they can allow me to rely on my solace through them, and have them take it away when they feel they want to.  I won't put myself in that situation again. My faith and comfort is my own and run by me. 

For now on, Anthropologie is my Faith, regardless if it seems more like a philosophy, and I will put it in my art.

3. But first, I must get over my addiction to caffeine, because it is killing me.

I got the colors wrong again. I can use what I have but focus on green and red. I'm not sure where white and black come into play.

4. The thick dashes should be done with long and not round though round has a nice effect if use as a small brush

5. Now that I'm off caffeine I want to stay that way. I paint better and am not as tired. I will never return to a coffee shop if I can help it.

I feel better now. I have enough caffeine not to keep returning to it, but the drink I have I don't like or crave (Zevia) and I rarely have more the few sips... of 'Cola' which is only a few mg of caffeine. I don't go to coffee shops anymore to avoid addiction.

I removed many of the brush strokes by connecting them with a smaller brush. It was too late to use a bright or flat, but I used a small round. When the small circles dry, I will paint over the edges with the color behind them to remove the brush look. I made the different colors common. 

I used prussian along with others by avoiding white, which I do not need, and makes prussian chalky.

6. I am testing the 36X36 size, and so far I do not like it. The square look makes it cramped. I prefer 36X48 inches but the mailing charge would have been 200 dollars more. I think I can fix the issue by making the square look rectangle by leaving the top and bottoms unpainted (I have 11 more 36X36 inches)

7. I do not like the large circle. It does nothing and creates a bullseye. it also takes up space. I will paint over it.

I will put my faith into my art showing the connection of everything in the world, and how it connects through reality's web.

8. Tomorrow I will throw out a caffinated drinks except for cacao. If that doesn't work, I will toss out cacao. Cacao is high in antioxidents, higher than most things, and nibs are highly NOT processed and low in sugar. Even though they have a low amount of caffeine, they still have caffeine. I will try to use it, but I may need to quit to quit caffeine.

9. Today I will remove the animal and circle. They have been bothering me, ands are busy. the animal looks stupid and doesn't fit.

10. It has taken time, but now that I have a reason to paint, I am starting to hyperfocus again.

11. I will paint, partly, over the small circles, in the color behind them But I need to wait for it to dry first.

12. Finally. I got rid of all that mess.

Now that I got rid of that crappy base, it is starting to make more sense, even in 36x36. Maybe I can use it after all. I just needed to simplify. I still need a second coat over the circle. Then I need to rotate the color and saturation level/value.

13. Title One thing I always had was with Titles. I always hated naming the pieces. I'd rather people decide for themselves. 

But often I will get half way through a piece, or even at the end, and re-title it. I was going to call it 'Hello Darkness my old friend...' It was a song about peoples' inability to communicate, and the alienation of life.... and I thought this described me completely. But the problem was I wanted my art to be positive, and about the connectiveness and need to connect in the world, and not the opposite.

So I changed the name to 'Togetherness'; and then , 'Topgether', contrasting the bowl and plant to the trees.